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18.04.2004 6:22 p.m. it feels like for the past month or so i've had no one. everyone is off doing their thing with their own other friends and it leaves me alone with nothing to do but sit by myself. i call people and see if they want to do something but no. everyone is busy. i hate this feeling because i've felt so sad this past month but ive had no one to talk to because everyone is off doing something. i try talking on msn, no one talks back or goes off somewhere. i try calling but they dont answer or busy doing something. it just feels like everyone is having fun and im not. im always at home by myself. im tired of being alone and im tired of feeling this way because it feels like how i was before. i feel like i have no friends and no one around me but stupid parents who bother the hell out of me. i want to go out somewhere but where am i to go??? oh yeah a bar by myself. thats fun. i dont want to feel sad like this. honestly, it likes it was that summer before. and the summer before that. fuck i dont even have someone to tell im upset. its like i have to deal with this all over again by myself with no one to turn to. i think i'm gonna start work a week early because then i'll at least have something to do instead of sitting around my house doing nothing. wow. i feel like the loser i am with no friends and nothing to ever do. i hate how i cant escape this. i want out but there's no fucking way out. |
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strawberry gashes that never disappear |
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